Commercials

So there are many commercials around. Most of them are simple annoyances. Some of them are pretty good. And a bit more of them are really stupid. I'll start out with the Wendy's commercials. Radio or TV. Instead of their old slogan "Do What Tastes Right," which is rather silly in and of itself, especially when they say stuff like "Do a nice juicy cheeseburger" or some such other nonsense on their paper bags. I grew up using "do" as a euphemism for sex... But I digress. They now use "It's better than fast food, it's Wendy's." Now, last time I checked, Wendy's was still a fast food restaurant. How can it be better than itself? I can understand comparing a current version to a past version... but that's not what they're doing. It's very paradoxical... and it drives me nuts (in the bad way).

Now the next ones on my mind tonight are Albertson's grocery commercials. Specifically the radio ones. The first one I remember noticing as really dumb described not being able to stretch your dollar anywhere else because it would tear, "Unless you tried it at Albertson's." Hehe. My husband and I had some fun with this one. Apparently, the laws of physics are different once you step into the Albertson's dimension, so naturally, they must have superior, extra dimensionally enhanced food. I see in my mind an image of a grocery store with portals to other dimensions like Azeroth. The food there heals your wounds.

Finally, another one that Albertson's has on the radio now describes how important it is that the earth rotates once every 24 hours and circles the sun once every 365 days and that if someone were to mess with these numbers it would be disastrous. The announcer-dude-guy then describes how important it is that Albertson's rotisserie chicken is roasted for 10 minutes then allowed to sit for 5 (which is actually more since it sits in the store for hours before purchased). Then he says that if those numbers were messed with, we would wish we messed with the earth... That's some important chicken. We should all head over to Albertson's and worship it. Oh mighty chicken god! How great is your condescension that you fill our tummies with your roasted goodness! Behold, I say unto you, blessed are those who find grace in thy sight, for they shall overcome famine! Woe unto those who incur thy displeasure, for they shall be plagued with salmonella!

Random quote:
Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing. ~Yoda~