Do Not Enter, Entrance Only

So my sister and I went to Super Target to return some items and price check some others. As we walked toward the building, one door stood out on the entrance side. It had the bright red circle that said, "Do Not Enter." It also had a bright red bar across it that said, "Entrance Only." There was also a little sign by the handle that said "Pull" (but they don't want anyone pulling it).

All of this was highly amusing. And to make matters even more funny, it said the SAME THING on the other side.

Has anyone else wondered what would happen if you entered such a door? Well my sister and I went to find out. I thought for sure it would create some kind of time warp, malfunctioning-Holodeck kind of paradox. It did not. The only thing it did was made some stranger say to us, "You guys are living on the edge."

And tonight we were.

Quote:
Me: "The light's red."
My sister: "STEP ON IT! But the brake, instead of the gas."

TDS vs. Dyslexia

As some of you may or may not know, I'm somewhat dyslexic. I was a lot more dyslexic when I was younger, but now I've mostly grown out of it or just learned how to cope better. However, I still sometimes see things switched around. I don't see letters moving like some dyslexics do (unless I'm really tired, but lots of things move then), for me it's more like, "I swear that said something else." Also, if I'm trying to read fast and I'm not paying much attention to the word, I may think it says something that's spelled similarly. This also makes spelling hard, especially since I get vowels switched.

Anyways, there's a little tire store near us called Tire Distribution Systems. They have a big TDS on their sign. Well, being dyslexic, can you imagine what I saw when I first glimpsed this sign out of the corner of my eye? Think of initials you learn in sex ed...

Random quote from my husband:
"I'm so backwards I make backwards look forwards."

Empty Storage Unit and Randomness

We finally emptied our storage unit. Yay! We have not yet unpacked only partially because we are lazy. The other part was that people came to spray for roaches and we needed to move all our stuff out of the cabinets and to the middle of the rooms. So a good chunk of the unpacking we did was undone and any unpacking that we would have done stopped because there was no point. The only thing we didn't move away from the walls was our entertainment center that was reincarnated in our move as a bookshelf. Our awesome TV that we got for free doesn't fit in it, and there is no place in the living room for it since there is a closet or a shelf or a window or our couch anywhere it could be placed, unless we put it right in the middle, which we won't because then we can't see the TV.

On an amusing random note, I sent out an email last time I posted here informing everyone that I posted, since I'm erratic and unpredictable. Just a sec, I'll get to the funny part. Ok, so in that email I asked everyone who wanted me to send them updates to tell me so that I would know who to email when I posted. I don't want to spam people's inboxes if they are keeping up with my posts in a different way or if they don't care to read my blog :(. Well, and here's the funny part, I only had one person respond and say they wanted me to email them. It wasn't a family member, not even my mom. It wasn't a high school friend, or in fact a friend I have met in real life. It was a friend from WoW. I have spoken to him through chat in the game and voice through the computer, but I have only ever seen a blurry picture of his face. To summarize, the only person who is interested in my ramblings is a guy I have never actually met. I can understand my husband not replying because whether he likes it or not I tell him I posted and ask him to read. But everyone else? *sad face* I'll send out one more email teasing people and giving them a guilt trip, but then I won't send any more reminders to the people who did not tell me they wanted one. They'll just have to check back randomly. Perhaps I'll have a whole bunch of posts since they last checked and then they will never read them because it will take too much time. Or, more likely, they will check to see no new posts and therefore, wasted their time.

Hmmmm.... I'm trying to think if I have any observations I'd like to share. None that really stick out. Well, I do have one, but it may offend people. I'm sorry to bring in controversial and potentially, nay definitely, offensive subjects, but it's my blog and as a blogger, it is my duty to offend and confound any who read. That's right folks, I'm talking about Library Science. Why, oh why does one need a Masters degree to be a librarian? That's two extra years after a four year Bachelors degree. Why does one need six years of school to put books on shelves, number them for easy retrieval, and make little cards so people know where to look? Obviously, there must be more to being a librarian than that. I just don't know what else they could possibly do.

Now, here is my random quote:
"Good evening, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies, so in the end, isn't that the truth? The answer is, 'No.'" ~The Simpsons~

The Dark Knight

***Minor Spoilers***

OMG I totally loved the movie! I've been a huge Batman fan for many years and I was so excited when they started these new ones. Batman in the movies desperately needed to be redeemed after Batman Forever and Batman and Robin... Ugh! Here are my thoughts on The Dark Knight:

Joker: When I heard Heath Ledger was going to play the Joker, I was scared. When I think of Heath, I think of A Knight's Tale. A pretty boy, almost baby faced guy who's trying to impress his girl (who really was kinda ugly and also a jerk). I heard from some friends that he was amazing as the Joker and that it really should have been called the Heath Ledger Show. When I watched it, I became a believer and abandoned all my doubts. He really was spectacular.

Lucius Fox: I talked about him in an earlier post, but I like how he's not an idiot in the movies. In the comics he's pretty much oblivious to Bruce Wayne's true identity and simply accepts his playboy exterior. In these movies he obviously knows that something is up and that Bruce is smarter than he lets on. It also strongly hints that Lucius knows Bruce's secret.

Two-Face: I liked him! One of the coolest things was his make up (how did they do it?).

This blog entry is sort of a response to my friend's entry, but be warned, he has actual spoilers.

Here is a video about the opening night that is awesome:


And a random quote:
Upon hearing that my post may have spoilers:
My husband: You've figured out a way to keep me from reading your blog.
Me: How is that different from you normally not reading my blog?

Movies: Superman Returns and Beowulf

I recently watched Superman Returns for the second time. The first time I didn't like it much, the second time I thought it was ok. The only big thing I didn't like was that Superman's hair looked like a helmet. Allow me to explain. It was so perfectly formed that it looked like some artist sculpted the whole thing from clay, painted it black, cooked it in one of those ovens, and set it gently upon Brandon Routh's scalp. Even the classic curl on his forehead was sculpted :(. It looked ridiculous. Obviously it should look neat, but this looked creepily unnatural. More alien than his superpowers O.O. This made me sad. I give Brandon Routh a 9 (he did great, especially in Christopher Reeve's shadow), and his hairdressers a -1.

I also watched Beowulf this morning. It was meh. It was all computer graphics, which I never noticed on the commercials (granted, I don't pay much attention to commercials usually). It started out good, but it went downhill quickly. The best part is near the beginning when Beowulf and his men are attacking the demon-monster-thing, Grendel, and one of them stabs it between it's legs and says, "It doesn't have a pintle!" I guess that's what it was called back then. And Wikipedia says it's current in Scottish use. Anyways, it was ok to see once.

Random Quote (I'm in Utah, remember):
The shortest distance between two points is under construction. ~Noelie Altito~

When Law Enforcement Don't Follow the Laws

So I was running some errands yesterday when I drove past an "on ramp" to the main street that I was on. The kind that have a Yield Sign for the people merging into my lane. Well, you know how it goes. Some nut-job doesn't yield and they almost crash into you, making you change lanes or change speed, or just cut it really close. Imagine my amusement when it was my own city's parking police! I was luckily able to change lanes instead of slow down (*phew* disaster averted!), but I thought it was hilarious and let out a guffaw (I hoped he'd see my silhouette laughing at him). I've seen these people give out parking tickets and show a tow truck driver which car to tow. Apparently, moving violations are completely different. So different, in fact, that not only do they not worry about enforcing them, but they also don't worry about following them. Because everyone in Utah is a good person and will be polite and let them through, after all, they never did anything to anyone. No tickets for parking on the wrong side of the road, even if it was for 5 seconds... Maybe I should have crashed into them and sued.

Random Quote:
We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni. We are now the Knights Who Say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm! ~The Knights-Who-Until-Recently-Said-Ni~

Happy Anniversary and Randomness

Happy 3rd Anniversary to me and my hubby! Well, last week. We celebrated with mini golf and Tucanos (a Brazilian grill style restaurant... so yummy!). Anyways, it was fun. On one hole, par 3, I think I took 5-6 swings to finally get that stupid ball into the hole. It just kept going back and forth, and almost going in but then jumping (yes jumping! O.O) out again. I finally got it in. For the whole course I think I was over by nearly 10, while my husband was under by a couple. We played inside with those black lights, so my gray t-shirt lit up, and I could see where some stains were =/. It was clean even and we hadn't eaten yet. Lame IMO.

Also, there is a website called Urban Dictionary, which is a nice resource if you don't know what things like "IMO" mean. You just go there and look it up, and users have defined it. You will want to be careful, because users define things and they use whatever language they like. There's pretty much everything there. I go to it a lot so I can seem smart while talking to my online friends.

And for the final random thing, I'm doing laundry today. Every time I go to the change machine to change my $10 bill and 40 quarters spill out with all that raucous, I feel like shouting, "I won! I won!" But since I'm not usually with friends, I don't actually do it. It's no fun if people you don't know laugh at you for it.

Random quote:
Lisa Simpson: Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my god! I'm losing my perspicacity! Aaaaah!
Homer Simpson: Well, it's always in the last place you look.

Baby Ducks!

So I was walking by the pond south of campus. I have been looking for baby ducks for the last couple of months, and they finally came! There are two families I think. They are tiny, cute, yellow, and fuzzy.

There are also more turtles. They like to sit on the log that floats around in the pond. There are smaller ones now too. I guess the turtles had babies too. Maybe. They're not as busy as the ducks. They are cold blooded after all >.>

Random Quote:
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, is this a stunt you learned in flight school?
Launchpad: Flight school?
Scrooge McDuck: You mean you never took flying lessons?
Launchpad: [Lunkishly] Well, I took a crash course.
Scrooge McDuck: Now he tells me.
~Duck Tails: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp~

Lucky! A Second Random Quote:
Raphael: Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!
~Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (The Movie)~

Buncha Random Stuff

Ok ok ok ok, so I'm a spaz. I'm watching videos and I can't do just that. I've been playing games and surfing the web, and now writing things on my blog. I'll probably do some cross stitch later. If my post is a little disjointed with the wrong word or bad grammar... sorry. I'm watching Xena. It may also be Xena-based. Because I'm watching it.

So, boiled eggs. I made some today for lunch. Or breakfast. Or brunch. Anyways, I really don't like peeling them. Especially when the egg sticks to the shell. Then there's that last bit of membrane that is icky to eat but sometimes hard to get off. However, peeling them is better than the alternative of not peeling them. I don't know how bad it is to eat egg shells, and I don't intend to find out. They may tear up ones innards or they may give one extra calcium. Who knows? It will remain one of life's mysteries.

So Xena knows some pressure points that can kill, Kill Bill has the "Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique" that makes a person's heart explode after five steps, and even Batman: The Animated Series had the Touch of Death. These are all based off of legends that martial artists could kill by putting pressure or pinching certain points on the body. Well, I paused Xena long enough to read this article: Is the "Ninja Death Touch" real? It seems that there are points where certain injuries can occur consistently when struck, but death is usually accidental and not related to martial arts (i.e. a gymnast falls, hits her head, and dies with little apparent injury). It makes sense that if these points can help heal (i.e. acupuncture, acupressure) they can also injure. Anyways, it's an interesting article and it isn't very long.

OMG Gabrielle just threw a rock and beaned someone right on the noggin!

Anyway, I want some string cheese. Or something sweet. I have muffins. I think I'ma go eat a muffin. BRB... There we go. Chocolate chip and pink.

So I put my hair in a bun for church and I haven't taken it out. I'm not used to it being up like this. I'm used to a pony tail. I just went to tighten it, like I do with my pony tails, but it doesn't work the same way with buns. My hands went up and instead of grabbing a pony tail I felt the bun. It's really cool looking. I did a good job, especially considering I only did it once before, a couple nights ago. And it's stayed up. Yay!

Well, I'm done with random ramblings for now. Time to finish my muffin!

Random Quote:
"One time I hit a guy in a pressure point, and he EXPLODED!" ~Some guy on some message board~

Xena Weekend

Ah, Xena! The only person in the universe that can have "La la la la la la la" as a battle cry. I'm having a Xena weekend. I recently got Netflix and can watch movies on my compy, and the Xena series is one of them. This show is all about feminine strength and sexiness. I find that combination funny. When attractive women walk around with low-cut tops and short skirts, people don't think, "I bet she's smart with valuable opinions" or "I bet she can beat me up," nor do they simply not notice. They think one of two things: "What a whore" or "OMG look at her bewbs!!!! And those legs! *drool*" But it's fantasy. So it's ok for the women to walk around wearing practically nothing.

Random Quote:
"Having more money does not insure happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars." ~Hobart Brown~

Spiders on Drugs

This is a fascinating video about the effects of different drugs, including caffeine, on spiders and their webs.

What Shall I Post About Today?

So, I'm really not sure what to post about right now. It's kinda weird. I have a desire to post something, but I don't know what about. So I figure I'll just post about not knowing what to post about. I'll see how amusing I can be. Don't get too excited, though, I don't want to disappoint.

...Nothing is coming to me.

I'll just leave you with the random quote:
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." ~Homer Simpson~

I Wonder Why That Car's Side is Wrecked?

I was driving to school the other day when a car in the opposite lane decided to turn left at the intersection. When he did, I had to slam on the brakes a little more than one would expect having to do when one has the right-of-way. As he passed in front of me I saw that the side of his car was pretty trashed. I sarcastically thought to myself, "Gee I wonder why?"

It's not the first time I've seen a car do something stupid in front of me or someone else and notice evidence of a failed attempt at a similar thing at a previous time. If that made sense. If it didn't, that's ok. It made sense to me. Sort of. Well it really did but I can't think of a good way of saying that.

On an unrelated note, I just saw Ferris Bueller's Day Off for the first time today. I guess I'm behind the times or something since I should have already seen it. Tell me honestly, were you surprised that I had gone almost 25 years without seeing it? Just so that you all know, it came out when I was 3. I don't know why that's important, but it might be.

Extra long random quote:
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.

Lucious Fox

As some of you may or may not know, I am a huge Batman fan. I even have a Batman key chain on my backpack. True, I also have Superman (2nd favorite) and Spider-man (3rd) key chains, but Batman is number 1. I've read, and own, a whole bunch of Batman and Batman related comics, books, and graphic novels. I don't know why this character appeals to me so much. It could be the lack of super powers (in a comic universe anyway, in real life he would have super strength, agility, the ability to web-sling without the web, etc.). Or it could be his complex emotions and inability to deal with them in a healthy way... I'm not sure, I just know that I've liked him for years. Keep in mind, this isn't the campy Batman who always smiles and is nice like in the olden days. This is the modern, moody, dark, depressed, obsessed, and emotionally withdrawn Batman.

Moving on... I really like the new Batman Begins movie a lot. I didn't so much like the older ones with Michael Keaton (Batman, Batman Returns), Val Kilmer (Batman Forever), and (ugh!) George Cloony (Batman and Robin). Those were dumb. Well, I guess the first 2 weren't so bad. But don't get me started on Batman and Robin or Batman Forever... just... Jim Carrey acts the same in all of his movies, and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze? Pah-leeze! He was much better in Terminator. Or "Last Action Hero." A highly recommended movie. It's awesome.

Anyway, the new Batman Begins is awesome too. The only thing wrong with it is that Christian Bale looks kinda whimpy in the Batman suit (it's the chin). Well, Katie Holmes is ok, but I can never get over the fact that she had a baby with Tom Cruise... Tom Cruise! He's an idiot. But I digress (again). Those are negligible compared to the rest of the movie and how well it was done.

The part I'm focusing on today is the Lucious Fox character. Lucious is the guy that actually runs Wayne Enterprises. He's the boss that takes care of everything because it "bores" Bruce, but he still has to go to Bruce for the really big decisions. He's supposed to be a really smart guy, obviously, he runs a multi-billion dollar company. However, in the comics he never does the math and figures out Bruce's duel identity. In this movie Lucious "looks the other way." He doesn't want to know, so he creates "scatomas" (it's a school word), or blind spots, and just refuses to see what Bruce is really up to. It shows that he really is a smart guy, but doesn't want to have to lie when asked what Bruce is up to. It makes more sense. Why would you want a dumb guy to run your company? I mean seriously.

Now for the random quote:
Lisa Simpson: I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand-new protractor.
Homer Simpson: Too bad we don't live on a farm.

Commercials

So there are many commercials around. Most of them are simple annoyances. Some of them are pretty good. And a bit more of them are really stupid. I'll start out with the Wendy's commercials. Radio or TV. Instead of their old slogan "Do What Tastes Right," which is rather silly in and of itself, especially when they say stuff like "Do a nice juicy cheeseburger" or some such other nonsense on their paper bags. I grew up using "do" as a euphemism for sex... But I digress. They now use "It's better than fast food, it's Wendy's." Now, last time I checked, Wendy's was still a fast food restaurant. How can it be better than itself? I can understand comparing a current version to a past version... but that's not what they're doing. It's very paradoxical... and it drives me nuts (in the bad way).

Now the next ones on my mind tonight are Albertson's grocery commercials. Specifically the radio ones. The first one I remember noticing as really dumb described not being able to stretch your dollar anywhere else because it would tear, "Unless you tried it at Albertson's." Hehe. My husband and I had some fun with this one. Apparently, the laws of physics are different once you step into the Albertson's dimension, so naturally, they must have superior, extra dimensionally enhanced food. I see in my mind an image of a grocery store with portals to other dimensions like Azeroth. The food there heals your wounds.

Finally, another one that Albertson's has on the radio now describes how important it is that the earth rotates once every 24 hours and circles the sun once every 365 days and that if someone were to mess with these numbers it would be disastrous. The announcer-dude-guy then describes how important it is that Albertson's rotisserie chicken is roasted for 10 minutes then allowed to sit for 5 (which is actually more since it sits in the store for hours before purchased). Then he says that if those numbers were messed with, we would wish we messed with the earth... That's some important chicken. We should all head over to Albertson's and worship it. Oh mighty chicken god! How great is your condescension that you fill our tummies with your roasted goodness! Behold, I say unto you, blessed are those who find grace in thy sight, for they shall overcome famine! Woe unto those who incur thy displeasure, for they shall be plagued with salmonella!

Random quote:
Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing. ~Yoda~

Undiluted Drinks

So, this week has been full of undiluted drinks. Well, two actually, but how many times do you expect to get an undiluted drink in a year? That's what I thought. Anyway, my dear hubby, in an effort to keep our milk from disappearing so quickly mixed up a frozen white grape juice concentrate. Well, at his work the pitchers are twice as big as here. So he put two cans of concentrate in... and four cans of water. Now I don't know how familiar any of you are with juice concentrate, but you usually need three cans of water per can of concentrate, and that multiplied by two doesn't fit in our pitchers. So we had to take a few sips at a time until it was low enough to add more water, which we just did, and it tastes fine.

But that was only the first event. A day or two ago my hubby had some extra cash in his wallet and we went to a restaurant called Sconecutters. It's some really good food, but that night they forgot to add a bit more carbonated water to their root beer syrup, and boy was that sweet stuff. Too sweet. I didn't finish it that night and just added some water to it the next morning. It was already flat, so what's the difference? It tasted ok. I don't mind flat soda. Strangely, Tyson's Dr. Pepper was too weak. They must have got all mixed up and diluted something that didn't need it. Well, those are my adventures so far this week. And since tomorrow's Valentine's Day, happy Valentine's Day everybody!

Random Quote:
Now I lay me down to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I should die before I wake
That's one less test I'll have to take
(I don't know who said it, but it was on a poster at one of my jobs)